How I Saved a Child and Almost Lost My Career | Pastor Jon Adams

Luke right there is saying like, "I wasn't one of his disciples. I never met the guy. I don't like the way the story is told by other people. I'm going to tell you my version." That's in the text. I had a situation where someone was spreading a rumor about me that let's just say like it could have ended my whole pastoral career. I have a disease that myself and a lot of other people have prayed that I would be healed of that I am not healed of. And I take very complicated medicine just to live my life. We have the Jesus that we have in the Gospels, but we also know that that's a story being told by his fans at a later date than when he actually lived. And the gospel writers themselves are admitting to that as they write it. Luke says, "I actually don't like the other versions of the Jesus story. They're too complicated. I'm going to write one that happens in order." And so Luke right there is saying like, "I wasn't one of his disciples. I never met the guy. I don't like the way the story is told by other people. I'm going to tell you my version that's in the text." And so pretending it's like a newspaper account is crazy. like it's just not. But at the same time, my experience with the Jesus that we have in the gospels was when I was struggling the most and when I had some situations in my life that were really not good, I ran out of ideas and I actually opened up Matthew and I looked at some of the things that Jesus had said and I tried to apply his principles directly to the struggles that I was facing. And his way worked not in my best interest, but it actually worked in the situations that I was facing. And so for me, that was kind of the key that unlocked coming back around to the idea of like a personal relationship with Christ, if you want to put it that way, was like I actually ran some experiments and I tried things the way that he prescribed and the result was good for everyone. It didn't favor me. It was actually good for all of us. I had a situation. Yeah. I had a situation where someone was spreading a rumor about me that let's just say like it could have ended my whole pastoral career and I couldn't clarify it because I was protecting a minor who had confessed something to me that I had to report. So the accusation was that I was covering up something that had happened to somebody when actually I had reported it to the authorities the way that the law demands and I was protecting this person's experience from a church leadership that wasn't able to handle it. So that church didn't leadership didn't like that I had something that I wasn't telling them and they were already this a couple people were already kind of opposed to me in general and they were using that to try to force me out of my job. Is that such a struggle for you? Because naturally we want to defend ourselves. And this is one situation where I couldn't stand up in front of everybody and actually explain. I had to keep it quiet. Like I had to to out of not not just legally but also out of respect for the child. You know, I'm not going to stand up in front of my people and tell everyone what happened to them just to protect my reputation. And so that rumor that I was covering up something that had happened, it kind of spread throughout our community. and I wanted with every fiber of my being to jump in front of it and set the record straight. But in this situation, I couldn't. So the specific instruction from Jesus that I This is more about not being in control. Like this is more about not being in control of a situation. Like why would that cuz some people in that situation would be fine with it cuz they would just have a resolve in their mind that says I can't do this. You all don't understand and that doesn't bother me at all. So like what what was the feeling for you? It sounds like maybe you just were out of control. Like you wanted to have control of the situation and this was a situation that you had no control over and that's hard or like what what was it? You know what I mean? Yeah. In a lot of situations where there's trust between leadership and people, you could say like there's stuff going on here that I can't talk to you about. And I probably have that relationship with the community now. But at that time what I was worried about was there were people who were going to be damaged. if these people could drag me down. It was going to hurt other people that we were serving. I don't know if that makes sense. You know, I mean, you you sign up for if you're going to do ministry, a lot of people don't understand this, but like if you're going to do ministry, you sign up for a lot of abuse. People get to say whatever they want to say about you. You become a figure of people's religion and not a person that they know. And you just have to embrace that sometimes. But there are also character assassinations that can happen that can affect people who are at a stage of their personal development where they need you to be the person that they think you are. And obviously we should all be the person. That sounds like a lot of pressure. Yeah, I it was a lot of pressure then. I was also a lot younger. So I hadn't been through as many reps of that as I have been now. And also like just straight up, this was kind of before the whole mystical thing. I hadn't done a lot of work humbling myself and crucifying the ego and doing all that. So, it was just kind of like I want things to go well and I want these people that I'm serving to be served and this is an obstacle to me and I'm frustrated and but when I went to what Jesus said, he says, "Blessed are you when people say all kinds of evil things about you for righteousness sake. Rejoice and be glad because in this way they treated the prophets who went before you." And it was like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to just be happy that people are talking about me behind my back. I have this drive in me to protect my reputation for my own good and for the good of other people. I don't know if I can just sit with this and let them say and do whatever they want to say and do, but I don't really have any options here, so I'm going to try it your way. And that situation worked out exactly the way that it was supposed to work out. It was still ugly. Like it's not it never somebody got hurt like even a year before I knew about it. So it was nothing that I had anything to do with and we couldn't go back and fix that situation. But the situation in our community did work itself out the way that it was supposed to by me keeping my mouth shut. So that was a huge lesson that I learned where it's like if I do what Jesus says in practical situations, maybe there's some truth here. And a lot of people would go, isn't that what just what Christians are supposed to do, right? Like the whole what would Jesus do thing? Just just do it. But most of us don't actually learn Jesus as a teacher for life. if we learn him as the sacrificial lamb who theologically absorbs the anger of God so that we don't get punished for all eternity. And so like kind of who cares what he has to say? Let's get him to the cross real quick so that God will forgive us. And a big part of like the mystical shift for me and for a lot of people has been oh Jesus actually has really important things to say to you about the life that you're living right now and you either follow him or you don't in all the small ways that actually matter. So what was your first mystical experience? I think we all have them. To quote your guest from last week, I growing up as a kid, you you feel this connection to nature and you feel almost like you can sense the life that is in all things. My first mystical experiences of Christ though came later as I was trying to learn how to sit in silent prayer. Not because I was trying to connect with Christ, but because I was trying to deal with my disease. And I don't want to describe it too much because I don't want to make it more than what it is. Like mystical experience, authentic mystical experience is very, very, very subtle. And you can blow it out of proportion in a way that makes you sound more spiritual than you are or that makes people feel like a fear of missing out if they hear your experience and they wonder why they don't have that same experience. Authentic mystical experience is very subtle. Mine was a sense of like just Christ's presence with me and like in a tangible way. And it was a it was a strange thing because it was like what is this that's happening? But then you go and you read especially like the Spanish mystics like Terresa Vavala and it's in line with what the mystical community has been talking about from the beginning that when you slow yourself down and you the way Thomas Merin says it is you surrender your ego and your inertia and sit in silence before your creator like the lens is cleared or the antenna gets fine-tuned and there's a sense of his presence that a lot of us have had and for a very long time people have been testifying to that and witnessing to that. So you said that when you you said that part of the reason Jesus needs to be have been real is the the intersection between reality physical reality and sort of spiritual reality and for you it it personally affects you with Crohn's disease and I suppose I suppose you've experienced some healing factor through faith. No, not at all. Um I this is a part of my story that I think is really important for people to hear. A lot of people are drawn towards spiritual practice because they're trying to get control over situations in their lives that are by nature out of their control. I have a disease that myself and a lot of other people have prayed that I would be healed of that I am not healed of. And I take very complicated medicine just to live my life. So for a lot of people that's a struggle because what they want out of a spiritual life is well I want to be so close to God that I don't suffer anymore. And what I think you really see in the New Testament is the promise that all human beings suffer. Like suffering is innate to the human condition. We get to suffer with Christ alongside us and the spirit in us that turns our suffering into perseverance and hope and character and all of these things that help us grow as people. I wouldn't wish Crohn's on anybody, but I can say with like 100% certainty that I have grown most as a human being over the last 13 years since I got diagnosed because of my disease. It's forced me to face things about myself that I didn't want to face. It's forced me to humble myself in the face of reality. It's forced me to appreciate more the things around me and be conscious of the relationships and the people that I'm around and pay more attention to my wife and children. It's forced me to appreciate all the food that I eat. It's forced me to learn how to pray and actually surrender to God. It's forced me to deal with my anxiety and my sense of conflict and all those internal feelings because those things have a negative effect on your the course of your disease. So, it's almost like I was allowed to have this physical feedback mechanism that push me toward healthy spiritual disciplines. Because while I wouldn't say that I've gotten any healing out of the faith side of things, I have been able to live a life that's better for me because if I don't do that, the consequences are worse.